


Not A Bad Thing

by gurajiorasu



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2324132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurajiorasu/pseuds/gurajiorasu





	1. Not A Bad Thing

“How could I live without you, Nino?” Ohno sprawled on the floor, in front of the neatly arranged table. Tears were streaming on either side of his face.

Nino towered beside Ohno, one hand on his waist and another one rubbing his eyes in desperation, _“You have to move on, Oh chan. I know you can do it. Geez. This is why I don’t want you to be around when I’m leaving.”_

A little figure behind him nudged Nino politely, _“Ano.. Ninomiya san.. we have to-”_

 _“Not now,”_ Nino cut and he focused back to his boyfriend. His _ex-_ boyfriend to be exact.

“You said you will always be with me. You said you love me. Why do you have to leave me?” Ohno wailed.

 _“Do you think I want to?!”_ Nino was exasperated. He then sighed and squatted next to his Oh chan to brush his hand over the older’s back and whisper, _“I **do** love you, Oh chan. You have no idea how much I love you, that’s why I can’t see you like this.”_  
He then pushed Ohno even though it didn’t affect Ohno at all, _“Now read that damned letter, Old man.”_

Ohno didn’t budge. He curled up on the floor, forming a human ball, wet by his own tears.

Nino gave a glance to the man behind him and gestured to the letter which was put on the table.

The man stood still, didn’t know what to do.

 _“Help me now or I won’t come with you,”_ Nino demanded. His hands were still placed on Ohno’s body as if he didn’t want to let go even for a mere second.

The man sighed, he took the letter and threw it carefully to Ohno, making it fall weightlessly in front of Ohno. The man seemed reluctant to make any contact with Ohno, he retreated back to his initial place behind Nino right after that.

_“Read it, Oh chan, please.”_

Ohno took the letter and cried over it, “What’s the use of a letter, Nino? I want you, not a letter.”

 _“Just read it,”_ Nino demanded.

Ohno clutched the letter to his chest and sobbed some more.  
It took approximately thirty minutes before he sat up and decided to open the letter.

Ohno read the letter and as his eyes scanned further and further, his hands became shakier and shakier. On the end of the letter, he threw it away.  
“What’s this, Nino? I don’t want this!”

 _“Oh, come on, Oh chan. It’s just a last request from me. A simple one,”_ Nino was upset when he saw the letter landed on the other side of the room.

“What’s this bullshit? What is this? What’s the meaning of all this?” Ohno began to cry again. He was at the lowest point of his life, he believed.

 _“You’ve never declined my request before, Oh chan. Not even the most ridiculous ones. Can’t you, please, fulfill this last one too?”_ Nino’s voice was hoarse. He couldn’t take it anymore. Ohno made everything harder than he thought it would be.  
He was crying too by then.

The man behind him approached slowly and touched his back, _“Ninomiya san..”_

 _“Just a moment more, I beg you,”_ Nino said while wiping his tears. He had to be strong, he knew that.  
 _“Please, Oh chan. Just this last one,”_ he begged with trembling voice.

Ohno hugged his knees and rocked back and forth, his eyes were fixated to the letter.  
“I love you, Nino.”

 _“That’s why you have to listen to me!”_ Nino half screamed, _“Get up and do as I said!”_

Ohno didn’t stop his back and forth movement, for he found calmness in that. He had a battle inside himself, considering what to do with the letter and the things that were written on it.  
At one point, Ohno crawled to the letter and read it once again.  
“I don’t know what you’re planning, Nino, but if this is what you want me to do-,” he stood up even though he had no will left in his body, “-then I’ll do it.”

Nino smiled in relief.

*******

Nino followed Ohno who walked towards the beach. Ohno wasn’t wearing any disguise. He didn’t care about his appearance, it’s already a good thing he wiped his tears first before stepping outside his apartment.

The lack of disguise wasn’t a problem, apparently. Many people recognized Ohno, but no one dared to make a move. They just gazed at him with a pitiful stare instead. Whispers about him were heard clearly, but Ohno didn’t care.  
In fact, he didn’t care about anything at all that moment.

Ohno felt soulless. He felt like it was the end of everything. He just wanted to get this done and see what Nino had planned for him.  
 _And if it’s nothing at all, sea is surely a good place for me to say goodbye to this cruel world._

Ohno stepped to the quiet beach. He read the letter again and looked at his watch.  
It was the right place and the right time.

Nino came closer to Ohno and whispered, _“Look up, Old man, he’s here.”_

Ohno looked up and he couldn’t believe what he saw.

A man in a neat suit was standing there, facing to the sunset.  
He might be neater than what Ohno had in mind, but Ohno knew that figure so well.

“Nino..,” Ohno could only manage to call with a voice as tiny as a mere whisper.

The man turned to face Ohno. A little bit startled, he put out his hands from his pants’ pockets and bowed slightly, “Ah, you must be Ohno Satoshi san.”

“Nino..,” Ohno ran to the man and hugged him tightly, tears were streaming like crazy

The man was baffled, “I’m sorry, Ohno san, but I’m not Ninomiya san. I’m Tamo Aoshi. Ninomiya san told me to-”

“Nino... _my_ _Nino_..,” Ohno didn’t listen to the man. He hugged him tighter instead. He wrapped himself to Aoshi like he was his lifeline.

Aoshi didn’t know what to do at first, his eyes darted wildly as he was searching for help.  
But then, he wrapped his arms around Ohno’s body and stroked his back gently, letting the older pour his heart out on his chest.

From afar, Nino looked at them with a smile. Without averting his gaze, he talked to the man who was always by his side, _“That’s it, Shinigami kun. My business on earth is done now.”_

The Shinigami looked at Nino and carefully asked, _“You know that he couldn’t hear you at all, don’t you?”_

Nino nodded, _“He doesn’t need to hear my voice, Shinigami kun. I know he could **feel** me in one way or another.”_

The Shinigami pondered. He was still unable to understand what Nino did, _“Doesn’t it hurt to see someone that you love so deeply with another man?”_

Nino shed a tear, _“It hurts.”_

_“Then, why do you do it?”_

_“Because sometimes, it’s not a bad thing to see your loved ones be with someone else. I want him to be happy, not devastated. I would rather go to hell than see him in despair,”_ Nino said, _“Even when I go to heaven, I will still feel like I’m in hell if I see him in sadness like that.”_  
He turned to look at the Shinigami and smiled, _“I can leave in peace now that he’s in Aoshi’s care. As long as Aoshi is there for him, I know he will be happy.”_

The Shinigami felt a squeezing feeling in his heart, a thumping pressure that he had never felt before.

 _“Thank you for letting me do this, Shinigami kun,”_ Nino leaned in and gave the Shinigami a kiss, _“Thank you very much.”_

The Shinigami’s hand was shaking as he lifted his scissors and sent Nino to heaven.  
His heart was breaking when he saw Nino slowly disappeared.

When Nino was already nowhere to be found, the Shinigami took out his book.  
He opened it and gazed at the last line.

_Tamo Aoshi. Car accident. 3 days from now, 9:02 PM._

The Shinigami took his pen and scratched it out until none of it was readable. He knew it was breaking the rule. He knew his candle was already too short for it. He knew he would vanish if he did it.  
But he did it anyway.

_Maybe it’s not a bad thing to be vanished for a human. I can’t let him feel hell in heaven, can I?_

He smiled as he came back to face whatever that was prepared for him.


	2. A Letter From Tamo Aoshi to Ninomiya Kazunari

_Hey, Ninomiya san, how are you?_  
  
 _Finally I have a chance to send this to you._  
  
 _It’s really been so long, ne? I remember the day I first met you on that quiet baseball field. I was freaked out and you were shocked. I remember you recovered from your shock pretty quickly, Ninomiya san, since your shock turned into disbelief because I didn’t recognize you._  
  
 _I smile every time I remember that day. I was so scared back then, you know? They said meeting your doppelganger means that your death is coming. And too bad, it did happen to you._  
 _I used to think that if I didn’t go to that baseball field, you would still be here with Ohno san. I blamed myself because of that thought._  
  
 _But.. hey, I didn’t regret that meeting, Ninomiya san. I know I’m selfish, but I do feel glad that you sent him to me. He’s the best thing that ever happened in my life._  
 _I’m also glad that death didn’t come to take me like it did to you. Because you’re right, Ohno san was miserable after you left him. I can’t imagine if I have to leave him too._  
 _Thanks to heaven and every greater power that the myth was only a myth. I’m alive long enough to accompany him, continuing what you did so perfectly._  
  
 _You know what, Ninomiya san? After all those years, he still mistakes me as you. I know he didn’t mean it when he did it, but he calls me ‘Nino’ more often than he calls me with my own name._  
 _But I’m okay with that. I know deep inside, the biggest part of his heart is still yours. It’s okay, I don’t mind he treats me as your substitute, as long as he allows me to love him as myself._  
  
 _Years after you left us, we adopted a baby. Ohno san said you always wanted a son, so he decided that he wanted a son too. Ohno san named the baby after you, and it’s alright too. Ohno Kazunari is a beautiful name, after all._  
 _Strangely, Little Kazu looks exactly like Ohno san even though they’re not related by blood. It reminds me of you and me, Ninomiya san. Could it be a fate? Maybe._  
  
 _Ohno san has been wanting to see you again for a long time now, Ninomiya san. And I think his wish is granted now._  
  
 _He left me. To meet you._  
  
 _But I’m okay. I’m perfectly fine. His son is here with me and he loves me as his father. As Tamo Aoshi. So I’m fine._  
  
 _Take Ohno san back to your care, Ninomiya san. He’s always yours from the very start after all. I’m just keeping him safe until it’s time for him to join you there._  
 _And the time has come._  
  
 _Thank you for trusting him to me, Ninomiya san. Now take him back, my job is done._  
 _Tell him I love him._  
  
 _Best regards,_  
  
 _Tamo Aoshi_  
  
  
Aoshi slipped the letter to Ohno’s hand and stepped back. His son hugged him tight as he was trembling and weeping hard.  
He fainted as he saw his husband was pushed to the cremation chamber.  
  
He was not alright. He was not okay. He was not fine.  
At all.


End file.
